


Time Between Two Lines

by Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A lot of them - Freeform, But they still love each other, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus has a feelings, Prompt Fill, and an alcohol problem, break ups are hard, just a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story/pseuds/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story
Summary: “I’m sorry.” Magnus pulled his hand free gently, keeping the contact as long as possible, because he knew the second he let go.It would be over.And he wasn’t quite ready for that. His heart wasn’t ready for that.





	Time Between Two Lines

**Author's Note:**

> "Malec break up and make up??" was the prompt, I tried to just roll with that, but the angst kinda took over...

Magnus bit his lip, staring at Alec.

“Maybe this isn’t meant to be then.” He could barely make out the words, wanting to take them back the second they came out, but he couldn’t live like this anymore. They never saw each other and since Valentine’s death, their jobs had pulled them farther apart. Their people still hated each other, and inevitably distrusted them for being together after everything that happened.

He could barely bring himself to look up at Alec, who was blinking tearfully at him, but still nodded shakely.

They both understood why this wasn’t going to work, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“I’m sorry.” Magnus pulled his hand free gently, keeping the contact as long as possible, because he knew the second he let go.

It would be over.

And he wasn’t quite ready for that. His  _heart_  wasn’t ready for that.

But he knew he had to do this. He had to choose to his people, and he could see it in Alec’s eyes that the feeling was mutual.

It didn’t help. It didn’t make his hand feel any less cold as he stepped away, and it didn’t help the way it felt like his heart stopped when the door closed behind Alec, the heartbroken look in the other’s eyes would haunt him.

The carpet felt rougher than normal, like it was digging into his knees despite it not actually touching his skin. His eyes were puffy and red and the smell of burning fabric had long since filled the room. He wanted to call Cat, call _Ragnor_ , but she was working and he was dead and he couldn’t bring himself to get his phone. He couldn’t look at the picture of them that was his background, or his lockscreen.

He couldn’t look at the text messages he had felt vibrating in his pocket for the last hour since Alec left.

Magnus looked up slowly, taking the in damage to his apartment. The carpet around him was burned completely, leaning scorch marks behind it the wake of the cold fire that had erupted from his heart.

His phone vibrated again.

He ignored it.

–

It had been two weeks and he still didn’t feel any better. He brushed on makeup and dressed as normal and intimidatingly as he could, putting up masks and walls for every flaw.  He hadn’t seen Alexander in that time, purposely avoiding facing the man until he had to, but even then he hadn’t managed to change the pictures and they haunted him everytime he turned on his phone. Their smiling, happy faces glaring up at him with love in their eyes and his reflection stared back each time the phone timed out, shutting off. Leaving him with nothing, but salty tears that burned against his makeup.

\--

He had deleted all the messages, 13 from dear, sweet Isabelle, at first they had been angry, but he figured Alexander had explained everything to her, because she seemed more understanding in the last one he saw. 10 from Jace that never got better, but were quickly deleted and 4 from biscuit that were making sure he was okay. He responded with a simple, short “I’m okay.” with a heart emoji. He was thankful she didn’t push it.

\--

Cat told him to get his act together and that this wasn’t helping either of them. She brushed his hair back as he threw up all the alcohol in his system, and she watched mournfully as he washed down the taste with a glass full of whiskey. She removed his make up for him when he passed out on the balcony and put him to bed, cursing him for falling to hard for a Shadowhunter. She patched up the bruised and bloody knuckles after he punched a wall four to many times in an hour, and she held him while he cried himself to sleep that same night.

Magnus wished she wouldn’t. She didn’t deserve to be putting up with him falling apart after another break up, but she hushed him when he spoke about it and called back Raphael, who had been blowing up their phones.

He threatened to attack the whole damn Shadowhunter community when he walked through the door.  His pale eyes took one look around the dismantled apartment and the worn, drunk man who he had come to see as a father and cursed again.

Magnus waved him off by taking another shot, saying he’s had worse and he’ll be fine in a few weeks after drinking away the memories.

\--

By the third time he had passed out on the floor Cat was fed up, tucking him into bed with a small huff, and she portaled to the Institute. She swore if she had to drag the Lightwood boy back to that damned apartment to make them talk, then she would.

She didn’t have to.

The second she stepped into his office he was out of his chair, asking if Magnus was alright.

\---

Magnus wasn’t expecting to wake up, but he really wasn’t expecting to wake up to Alexander sitting next to him, a wet rag in his hand and his forehead was damp.

Sad and stubborn hazel eyes stared back into his.

“Hi?” Magnus’ throat hurt more than it should and he tired to remember if there was a reason for that, but the past few weeks were a blur, if it even had been weeks.

“Catarina came and got me, I’ve got a week off.” Alec leaned forward and ran the rag across his face again, the warm water was calming. “Izzy wouldn’t let me come back anyway, it’s not like I’ve got a lot of work done recently.”

He could hear the _since we broke up_ part that was left unsaid and he frowned.

“This isn’t working.” Alec looked up at him, putting the rag into the bowl on the night table. “Neither of us can do this.” Magnus opened his mouth, but he was cut off. “And don’t say that you’re doing okay.”

Magnus huffed slightly.

“Have you seen yourself? You look like a corpse.”

Magnus smiled flirtatiously at him.

“Always such a charmer, darling.”

Alec frowned at him, tears were brimming his eyes.

“Babe,” Magnus’ fake smile disappeared. “You’re killing yourself over this and I’m not going to let that happen over something neither of us want. I don’t want to do this without you, I don’t want to lose you.”

“Alexander, your peo-”

“Fuck them. I didn’t walk away from my wedding for my people. I did it for me. Because I chose you.” Alec brushed his fingers across Magnus’ forehead. “I still do, and if they don’t like that then it’s on them.”   
Magnus blinked back tears.

“You can’t give up everything for this, there’s so much you haven’t even experienced yet. I…” Magnus sat up, holding back a wince as his body protested. “I fear that…That someday you will come to hate me for being the one you chose. Because they look down on you for it.” He admitted softly. “I’m scared that this isn’t as serious for you…as it is for me.” He couldn’t look at the other man, fear gripping his stomach. His mind was swimming with the idea that Alec was going to just leave now, or admit that it wasn’t.

Magnus felt the bed shift and Alec appeared in front of him, kneeling down awkwardly on the soft blankets.

“I want to marry you, Magnus.”

Out of everything he expected, that wasn’t it.

“Not now, probably not for a while, I don’t think either of us are quite ready for that.” Alec reached down and grabbed his hands, bringing them up to his mouth and kissing the bruised knuckles gently. “But I know I want to, one day. I want to be with you forever.”

Magnus stared up at him with an open mouth, small inhales and exhales were the only sound in the room for almost a minute before he pulled back one of his hands, covering his mouth as tears started spilling from his eyes. He was trying desperately to get his emotions under control, but the second Alec pulled him forward and wrapped his arms around him, he stopped. Magnus wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, crying together, but he felt better once he had cried all he could.

He traced the rune on Alec’s neck with a finger after they had laid down, and he pecked at his collarbone with his lips.

“We’re back together…Right?”

“Yeah, if you want to be.”

Magnus looked up at him, brushing a hand over his cheek.

“I want nothing more, love.”

Alec smiled lovingly down at him, kissing his forehead.

“I love you, Magnus. So much.” He muttered onto his skin and it stuck like ink bled from a needle.

“I love you too.”

It was going to take a while to repair the damage they’d done, but the love they had for each other was stronger.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've got requests or anything, come shout at me at https://shadow-bellum.tumblr.com/
> 
> I'd love to hear from you guys!!! It'd mean a lot! <3 (I do post a lot of anti stuff, but I do tag everything, so if you've got those filtered, you won't see it ;) )  
> \---
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed, please let me know if you did!! It means the world to me!! <3


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